Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar (Hardcover)

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Kelly Oxford is . . .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." Bea, age four

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon

A terrible liar.

About the Author

Kelly Oxford, dubbed "the Queen of Twitter" by Details, started writing at five years old when she penciled "I had a baby" into her Hello Kitty diary, and she hasn't stopped since. She now writes words that companies like Warner Bros., CBS, and NBC have bought for film and television and magazines like GQ have published. You can read more of her words online in places like Twitter (@kellyoxford) and Tumblr (kellyoxford.tumblr.com). Born in Edmonton, Canada, she currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband and three children, who all wish they weren't in this book.

Praise For…

“With biting wit and always-appreciated humorous self-deprecation, Oxford’s tweets have garnered a huge following .”
-Time magazine

“Kelly Oxford is one of the funniest writers I have read in a long time.”
-Jason Segel

“Kelly Oxford is a b*tch who got lucky and never paid her dues. She’s just like me and I love her for it.”
-Diablo Cody

“I’m fascinated by Kelly Oxford. She’s a 21st century public diarist, her story told in shards, brief moments of wit and observation.”
-Jonathan Ames

Product Details
ISBN: 9780062102225
ISBN-10: 0062102222
Publisher: It Books
Publication Date: April 2nd, 2013
Pages: 336
Language: English